Plots, Logic, and the Tooth Fairy

Kid #1 lost her first tooth last week. This is relevant, I swear (or, at least as relevant as anything else I write on here). For the record, I never told her there was a tooth fairy. I also never told her there wasn’t a tooth fairy. Mostly because, like everything else, I couldn’t decide on the right thing to tell her, so instead I said nothing. Which in turn makes my parenting like one weird social experiment.

But anyway.

Her world is full of books and shows and other kids, and so there is knowledge of a tooth fairy. And here’s where things get interesting, because she’s kind of at that in-between stage. Like, she doesn’t just believe things. She’s at that stage where she’s trying to reason out the world around her. It’s like watching evolution or something, but not.

So she’s sitting in the backseat of the car, looking at her tooth inside a Ziploc bag (because we were mooching dinner off my parents at the time of tooth-losing (also, at what age does one become too old to do that?)), and she starts in with The Reasoning. It occurs to me that The Reasoning is pretty similar to deciding which kind of book to write:

“So I’m going to put this under my pillow, and then there will be money.” *insert look of terror* “Do you think the tooth fairy checks my pillow every night?” (Horror)

“Or do you think the wand has money inside of it, and she points it at my tooth and zaps it into money?” (Fantasy)

Then, after some more thinking…

“Hey, I think you need to practice. If you want to be the tooth fairy.” AHA! She’s got it. Also, I’m a little proud. (Contemporary)

Then: “But can you practice on another tooth?” (Okay, she doesn’t quite get it) Right. Because obviously I’m out of practice and my magic might screw up the whole turn-her-tooth-into-money thing. (Magical realism)

But hey, that works, too, right? Just a different kind of book. As long as the logic is consistent….

“No, I think there’s a fairy that flies around outside and all the teeth turn into money.” (Paranormal)

Okay, we’re going with that.

So, yeah, we put the tooth in a bag so I’d be able to find it and stuck it under her pillow. And while she slept, I took the bag away and put money in its place.

Except the next morning she examined the money, narrowed her eyes, and said, “Hey, what happened to the bag it was in?”

Crap.