A bunch of people on Facebook have been posting these “Year in Status” things, and I thought maybe I would do one to show what my life has been like the past year. But I didn’t. Because those are just the things I felt like saying out loud (though they are of questionable importance, as I like to complain about the Giants and occasionally quote my kids).
Like, for instance, according to my Facebook statuses: in March I went to New Jersey. And in June I became an author (there were multiple exclamation points with this one). In August I went to San Diego for my best friend’s wedding. In September I was in NYC and met my editors. Recently, my daughter decided she wanted a rainbow for Christmas. And last week, the Giants lost a particularly heartbreaking game.
Can you see my life?
More likely you’ll find it in the gaps in between. Here are the hypothetical status updates that weren’t:
February: Today I deleted 60,000 words that weren’t working for the second time. If you need me, I’ll be glued to my netbook for the next 3 months. Please don’t expect me to say anything coherent. Or brush my hair. Also, be nice to my husband. He’s picking up a lot of my slack.
March: I’m staying in New Jersey for 10 days in a house with my 2 and 4-year old, 2 teenaged boys, a turtle, and a frog. I accidentally used Axe body wash and now I smell like teenage boy. Kid #2 discovered how to climb out of his crib. He also gets up at 4am. But you’ll have to drag me away when it’s time to go home.
May: That book I rewrote twice? It went out on submission. I felt like vomiting. Instead, to distract myself, I potty-trained Kid #2 – you know, the stubborn one. By the way, I count this as one of the greatest achievements of my adult life (the potty training, not the book deal).
June/July: I’m sitting in the backyard watching my kids play. I’m sitting in the backyard watching my kids play. I’m sitting in the backyard watching my kids play. I’m sitting in the backyard watching my kids play. I’m sitting in the backyard watching my kids play.
August: My best friend told me she wants me to do the Running Man at her wedding as I enter the reception hall. Followed by the Roger Rabbit. I tell her I don’t want to do it. I tell everyone I don’t want to do it. But that is a lie. I do. Of course I do.
October: Kid #1 tells someone, “My mommy makes books.” I feel like a writer.
And the fact that I needed the approval of a 4-year-old to feel like a writer makes me feel like this mom thing is kind of working out for me.
But the fact that the Giants lost that ridiculous game last week doesn’t mean anything more than sometimes the Giants really suck. So there you have it. My year in review. (And football.)